2 posts tagged “coffee”

Show us your coolest kitchen gadget.

Oh, just head over here to see it.  'Tis my espresso machine that my dear spouse got me for my 40th b'day.

This was part of an email from a friend of mine who does his part in maintaining our current addiction to coffee.

You know how Hannibal Lecter especially despises rudeness? No? Well, he does. It's one of his "quirks." I have this image in my head of Lecter having to work at Starbucks while he's hiding from the law, because he can't access his Swiss bank accounts anymore or whatever and he just needs the money. What would happen is he'd be appalled by an especially rude customer, track them down, kill them. This would repeat over and over again, because there is an endless supply of especially rude customers. Eventually he'd triple or quadruple his old body count and get really fat cause he's got so many people to eat. Although the excercise involved in tracking down and killing and field-stripping all those people could balance out the additional caloric intake.

"A customer tried to blame me for our policy of charging tax on newspapers. I pan fried him in clarified butter and served him at a ladies' luncheon with a nice wine gravy..."

A detective would be on his trail, of course, but eventually realize that Lecter was just culling the worst and most useless members of society. Newspaper articles, seemingly unconnected to all the killings, would be written about how people were becoming friendlier, more considerate.

On his deathbed, with deep regret, Lecter would sigh, "I only meant to do evil... EVIL" and die.